Always
by GEM1588
Summary: There is beauty in forgiveness. Raven/Finn. Complete? You decide.
1. Always

**Title:** Always  
**Pairing:** Cannon  
**Rating:** M

**Timeline:** 1x08: Day Trip

**Summary:** There is beauty in forgiveness. Raven/Finn.

**Disclaimer:** Anything you don't recognize is mine.

* * *

"Do you love me?"

Raven wasn't a desperate girl by nature, yet here she was weak and pathetic and in need of reassurance. On the Ark she was strong and independent, a talented mechanic, respected by her colleagues, revered by her peers who could only hope to achieve her technical expertise.

For her station in life, she had everything she ever dreamed.

But this was Earth.

Things were different.

Along with life giving oxygen, the air here was littered with uncertainty.

Raven knew her question was not the most important one, merely the one she needed to hear Finn answer. She chose this question because she knew what he would say.

Of course, she also knew how he would answer the other question, _"Do you love _**her**_?" _In her heart, Raven knew _that_ was the question she should be asking him.

There was no need to vocalize it though. She knew the answer already. She'd seen the evidence firsthand. She knew Finn – sometimes better than he knew himself. He wasn't the guy that fucked every piece of ass that came his way. Finn _cared_ about people – sometimes too much. That was his biggest flaw: his compassion.

So it was the important question she selfishly chose to avoid to spare her own heart. Deep down she knew his answer to both questions would be the same. But today he surprised her. Instead of the simple 'yes' she expected to hear he chose to answer:

"Always."

Raven saw the hurt in his eyes as the word left his lips, a silent judgment of her own doubt. The shame in his eyes at his own behavior dispelled her from taking further action. It was easier to kiss, make up and forget it ever happened than to delve into the unforgiving world of _why._ A world where honesty was brutal and tears would flow freely.

Raven did not like going into that world and Finn's answer had given her no reason to cross the boundary into that harsh territory.

A part of her knew his affection would never waiver. His indiscretion had nothing to do with how he felt about her – but more so how he felt about…

His Princess.

Raven had made a lot of friends in her frequent visits to see Finn in lock up – friends who were part of the 100. Friends who filled in the details. She knew about the nickname and the flirting and the 'secret missions' the pair had taken – disappearing for hours at a time.

She saw right through Clarke's careful "I hardly know him" remark. Raven saw the reactions in both of them every time she kissed Finn when the Clarke was nearby. Even a few hours ago, the incredibly awkward conversation the three of them had at Finn's bedside spoke volumes of the depth of the affair.

The damage was already done.

Finn and Clarke had fallen for each other.

But Raven was an expert in repairing broken things. If she could make a shuttle from a pile of scrap she could certainly fix this mess.

And Raven believed with every cell in her body – Finn was worth the pain and struggle it would take to mend her bruised heart.

"You're supposed to be resting."

Add to the list of Finn's character flaws, his thoughtfulness and generosity. He was certainly willing to share more than rations.

A sweet smile grew on his face as she removed her shirt.

How she missed that look.

Leaning forward she kissed him again, with great tenderness. His lips brushed against hers as his hands slid onto her bare skin.

"_Raven"_

His husky voice gasped as she removed his shirt. She kissed along his sternum, making sure to avoid his wound. She continued lower, pausing to tease his navel with her tongue. His stomach tensed as he fought the impending laugh.

Finn was ticklish in the strangest places.

Hips lifted from the cot as his raised eyebrows begged her to undress him further. Taking her time Raven, slipped a finger beneath the button and slipped it through the hole. Two fingers joined together to open the fly the remainder of the way while Raven's mouth worked lower along the Finn's midline.

His pelvis rose again, fists white knuckled with tension as Raven took him in her mouth. She took her time, licking every millimeter of his shaft as he panted with utmost pleasure.

"Raven. Ahhh, yeah. Raven. You have to. Uhhhh. Stop. I'mmmmm. Oh fuck."

It was so funny how un-articulate Finn became while receiving oral. Once he'd tried to recite some Shakespeare they'd been forced to memorize. She smiled at the memory as she continued working his throbbing cock with her hand tongue in tandem.

Thick heat shot to the back of her mouth moments later. She swallowed down her 'dessert' rations – thinking back to the first time he'd referred to it that way. Finn had a peculiar sense of humor when it came to sex. It was part of his charm.

Finn's body was still now, except for his chest which rose and fell with deep breathing. His face was paler than usual and Raven couldn't help feeling concerned. He had lost a lot of blood and it would probably take him awhile to recover. Climbing over his half naked form, she lowered her lips to his forehead.

"You should get some rest."

As she began to cover him with the animal skin blanket, he half-sat up leaning heavily on one elbow. His free hand caught her forearm in a loose grip, as his deep thoughtful eyes looked into hers.

When he leaned closer, half closing his eyes – Raven kissed him again. He released her arm letting his hand caresses her bare skin before easily removed her bra. (A skill they'd spent many hours practicing) Raven sighed with delight, cradling his head against her bare breasts. The warm heat of his mouth on her nipples sent a wave of pleasure through her body.

She needed this.

She needed _him._

Shifting position she backed down his body, careful not to disturb the bandage covered sutures. As she did, Finn's sole focus was in removing her pants. As the fabric fell away, Raven saw the adoration in Finn's eyes as his head lolled to the side. She looked at the boy beneath her, gazing at her with much overdue desire. She leaned over, pressing her lips to his. She could never get enough of his kisses.

Finn kissed her back as deeply and truly as he ever had.

His fingertips ran along her body, tracing imaginary lines. Each touch was filled with timid wanting but his kisses were far from shy. Raven could feel the passion building in him as his fingers searched inside her for the spot.

The spot the he knew so very well.

With trembling legs, Raven buried her head against Finn's shoulder as his thumb rubbed hard against her clit. His index finger scraped against her inner walls tempting the orgasm to come.

Now it was her turn to moan his name while pleading for release.

But this was a duet they'd sung many, many times.

And Finn always made her wait for it.

When Raven took a moment to catch her breath, she could hear the slapping sound of her own wetness as Finn's hand thrust in and out in of her. She called his name again, louder, begging for their bodies to unite. She watched him bite his lip and as he shook his head 'no' – denying her. It was a game that he played. But Raven knew how to win this contest. Reaching between her legs, she slipped her hand over his, forcing her own finger inside herself along with his.

He exhaled hard, cursing as he fought to keep his head up off the cot – watching.

"Please Finn…," she begged, while she was still able to talk. His head bobbed once as he withdrew his soaked hand and reached up to place his fingers in her mouth. At the same time Raven's hips sank down over his erection, breaking what had been a very long wait for this reunion.

It had been so long in fact, that Raven could feel the stretch of her muscles as he entered her. From his reaction she knew he felt it too. Sucking hard on his fingers to keep herself from screaming too loud (another little trick they'd perfected over time), she managed a handful of bounces before her climax.

For an instant she forgot all about Finn's injury, slamming and grinding her pelvis down against his, eager to get him as deep inside her as he would go. Finn cried out beneath her, and Raven stopped suddenly – fearing she'd hurt him.

But he wasn't hurt at all.

His expression was one of complete euphoria. As Raven felt the pulse of his release inside her, she removed his fingers from her mouth – choosing to kiss the palm of his hand as his fingers stroked her cheek.

His eyes closed and Raven knew he was exhausted. Leaning forward she kissed his head one last time before disengaging their bodies. As she collected her clothes from the ground, Finn's head turned her way.

"Raven." His outstretched arm waved her back to the cot where she curled up in his embrace. Covering them both with the carcass blankets, she snuggled closer. Nested beside Finn, she closed her eyes letting the world around them slip away.

This is where she was meant to be.

Always.


	2. Hesitate

**Title: Always**  
**Chapter: Hesitate**  
**Pairing: Cannon (Raven x Finn)**

**Rating: T**

**Timeline: 1x10: I Am Become Death**

**Summary: There is beauty in forgiveness. Raven/Finn.**

**Disclaimer: Anything you don't recognize is mine.**

* * *

Raven suspected she was living a lie but she chose to ignore the signs. She wanted her relationship with Finn to be normal with no side effects of his infidelity, even if she had to overlook certain things. The mechanic thought she was doing a fine good job of forgiving and forgetting. Finn was on his best behavior – strategically placing himself in Clarke-free situations – at least most of the time.

It was those other times (which were certainly few and far between since her arrival) when she would observe them casually talking their expressions would immediately turn guilty. There were glimpses of Clarke's subtle gazes at Finn. The blonde masked it well, wearing her tried and true poker face as she went on her rounds through the camp. However, Finn couldn't hide his feelings. His pining eyes bled attachment to the Princess.

It hurt.

More than Raven would ever admit.

She held it together though, convincing herself she had to try harder. Not to make him forget Clarke (she knew _that_ would never happen) but to help him remember why they were together. Why what they had was worth fighting for. Unfortunately, that was easier said than done.

Sure, he smiled at her and told her that he loved her. But she noticed that he kissed her with his eyes open now. She justified his actions more than once. He was keeping alert, eyes and ears staying sharp and aware of everything happening around them. The looming threat of a grounder attack was foremost in everyone's mind.

He didn't touch her as much as he used to either, she was the one initiating everything. Raven convinced herself that this simply another trait of this new brave Finn, determined to make sure that their people were prepared. Surviving the grounders was more important than making love. There would be time for that later.

However, it became impossible to ignore the suffocating nature of the scandal when the simple minds of the criminal core constantly reminded her. They were childish and cruel. Eventually it got under Raven's skin more and more until she couldn't stand it anymore.

She was being mocked by the entire camp for having faith in a boy who had always been there for her. She was being chastised for her loyalty for Finn Collins. Ironic that no one here seemed to believe in second chances – despite the fact that they were chosen to be saved instead of floated.

It was only after a very long walk to a bridge carrying a bomb that Raven finally saw the light.

Finn was never going to get over Clarke.

The silence of the wood at night was unsettling. Raven tried to fill her head with her mission. Get to the bridge before sunrise. Set up the bomb. Trigger the explosion. Destroy the bridge. But those thoughts didn't last long and soon she entered the place she told herself she wouldn't go. But here she was – the land of 'Why?'

"Why?" was a nice place at first filled with happy memories. She thought of the first time Finn kissed her. It was impulsive and unexpected and so totally Finn. She thought of the wild times they had on the Ark – and the times she had to talk him down.

"Finn, streaking through Farm Station is not a good idea."

The first time he said "I love you". It was when he thought she was sleeping but she wasn't. When they made love that first time, nearly getting caught by his father and the adrenaline rush that followed as they hid naked, desperately trying to keep quiet.

When for their anniversary, he proudly presented her with the small raven replica he'd made from scrap metal. She'd worn it every day.

Her mind waivered turning down the wrong path.

Finn made one for _her_ too. He'd also made love to _her_.

Why?

What was so special about Clarke Griffin?

She was blonde and blue eyed. She was also privileged. On the Ark she wouldn't have given Finn a second glance.

Is that the kind of girl Finn wanted?

No. Definitely not.

But Earth was different.

Ranks were shifting.

Raven staggered on through the night. Helplessly caught in the harsh territory of her own doubts and fears. Images came rushing at her. Observations that she had tried to hide in the deepest depths of her mind. Finn gently taking Clarke by the hand as he led the Princess to the bridge to meet with the grounders. It was more than a simple reassuring gesture. It was a symbol of _their_ bond, of _their_ unity.

Then Finn instinctively reaching out for Clarke as she collapsed from the virus. He cared more about her than he did himself. Emotion welled up begging to be released but Raven wouldn't let it escape. She would hold it in until her job was done.

She tried to push the bad thoughts away but she couldn't. All she could imagine was Finn kissing Clarke. That crippling image broke her stride and she fell dropping their only chance of survival.

Her body was fatigued but she managed to get to the bomb. It was intact but she wasn't. Wiping the blood from her nose she trudged forward. It didn't matter what happened now. She was going to make sure that everyone else survived.

With the ground against her belly she aimed the gun. Or tried to but it was so heavy. How had she managed to carry it this far? Delirium overpowered her. She lay still waiting for the grounders to come.

But someone pulled her away.

Finn.

As they cowered from the blast there was so much she wanted to say. She wanted to tell him everything then but her words wouldn't come. Sick and weak she didn't have the strength to free him from the prison of their dying relationship. He took her in his arms half carrying her across the uneven ground. She allowed herself to cling to him one last time.

Her boyfriend.

Her best friend.

Her family.

She lay in a hammock where none other than Clarke, vigilantly cared for her. Finn stood by but at a distance. Funny – seeing how he'd already been exposed.

With heavy heart Raven forced herself to remain conscious long enough to do what needed to be done. Today she finally had the strength to speak the truth.

"Not the way I want to be loved. Not the way you love Clarke."

His silence killed her.

He didn't answer because he _couldn't._ Finn would never lie to her. His pained expression was the only confirmation he would give that she was right.

"It's over, Finn."

He stood there in mourning, though Raven saw relief in his eyes. He already _knew_. He'd been waiting for her to realize it. To say it. He didn't want to be the one to end it. He didn't want to hurt her any more than he already had.

He waited until she was ready to let go.

Finn still loved Raven that's why he hesitated.

Raven still loved Finn that's why she didn't.


	3. Good

Title: Always  
Chapter: Good  
Pairing: Cannon (Raven x Bellamy)  
Rating: M

Timeline: 1x11: The Calm

Summary: There is beauty in forgiveness. Raven/Finn.

Disclaimer: Anything you don't recognize is mine.

Author's note: I know I'm in the minority but I think that Raven/Bellamy is a very interesting ship that should be given a chance. We all know Bellamy and Clarke are going to end up together eventually so why not explore a different potential. That being said, I am still rooting for Finn and Raven.

* * *

"What's for dinner?" Finn asked lightly as he stepped apprehensively into Raven's tent.

"Split loads," she replied not bothering to look at him. Making eye contact was still a bit of an issue. "Turning one bullet into two." She heard his soft laugh as she mentioned Jasper and the latrine. That laugh brought back memories of the good times. They'd certainly had their share back on the Ark.

"Is one of those for me?"

In spite of everything, Finn still knew how to make her smile. "Maybe. I'm still deciding."

She felt him next to her, standing close but at the same time keeping his distance.

"I keep wanting to apologize. Again."

"You don't have to. We're good." Why didn't he understand that she'd already forgiven him? Besides she didn't want to think about him and Clarke anymore. It was time for a fresh start. "I gotta get this done."

"It's bad," He observed, leaning over to watch her work.

"What?"

"When you're really pissed off you find a project. Something to keep your hands busy so you don't punch somebody in the face."

She knew what Finn was hinting at and yes, there were some people that Raven would love to cold-cock right now.

But not who he had in mind.

The Grounders. She was focusing her energy on the brewing war – not on Finn or Clarke. She'd already wasted too much time on that drama. Though _maybe_….No. Not today. She wasn't going there.

"I'm not keeping busy, Finn. I'm keeping us alive," she replied coldly.

"You're right. That was a dumb thing to say," he backed away sheepishly retreating toward the exit flap. "See ya later."

"Wait," she called out not wanting to end this conversation on a bad note. Or at all. Even though they weren't together she still loved him. She still wanted him around. It was just hard for her to transition back to being friends. They'd added the 'benefits' part to their friendship so long ago it was unnatural to be this close with touching.

"We're good." She forced a smile as she stood facing him. "We're good," she repeated in attempt to convince them both that this wasn't absolutely killing her. "We are," she added a nod that time. She looked into his eyes trying to read his emotions. He didn't seem upset. Funny considering how he still 'loved' her. You would think someone who'd just been dumped might show a little more visible heartache. But here he was looking her in the eye as though he expected her to take it back. Erase the conversation they had in the drop ship when she'd ended their relationship. But that's not what she was going to do.

"I just want you to be happy."

Raven hadn't shed a tear for Finn Collins but saying those words damn near broke her. What she was really trying to say was that she wanted Finn to be happy with her. She wanted him to close the distance between them and take her in his arms. She wanted to be hugged so tightly she couldn't breathe. She wanted him to beg and plead and swear off Clarke Griffin for the rest of his life.

Thankfully Raven was a realist.

She did not actually expect Finn to do any of those things. And from his sympathetic expression – she knew he wasn't going to.

At that moment the smokehouse went up in flames. A loud commotion ensued driving them out into the light of day. The fallout of this new development was Finn and Clarke going out on yet another "mission" together.

Raven's molars ground together as she threw a few belongings in a bag. She did not rebuild a fucking antique space shuttle and risk her life to get here. For what? A boyfriend, who in ten days had fallen in love with someone else. Ten fucking days! This was bullshit. Absolute fucking bullshit. What had she ever done to deserve this?

And why the hell was Bellamy in her tent? Oh right, more ammo. She dropped the remainder of bullets into his outstretched hand. All she wanted was to get the hell out of camp but he wasn't going to let that happen.

They traded words viciously at first but then Bellamy surprised her by listing a resume of her most recent accomplishments – which as he saw it were nothing short of remarkable. It had been a long time since someone spoke to her that way. Even Finn had been to busy with his own agenda to recognize her effort.

Somehow she'd managed to impress Bellamy though and it felt _good._ She needed that. She needed to feel something other than heartache.

"You may be a huge pain in the ass but you're smart."

Yes. She was smart and it was about damn time that someone noticed. His backwards compliment was enough to get her through the day. It motivated her to work harder on her new project. As she collected the parts all she could think about was the possibility that maybe, just maybe Finn might see what Bellamy had. Maybe even realize what he'd given up and have a change of heart.

She knew it was pathetic to think that way but Finn was all she had. Letting go was harder than she ever thought it would be.

When night fell, she eagerly awaited his return from hunting. She'd finished the first few walkies and was anxious to show him what she was capable of on her own. But he hadn't returned.

"I'm sure Clarke's keeping him busy."

Even in lock up, Murphy was a giant asshole - and Raven knew better - but his words made her cheeks burn. He was only saying out loud what everyone else in the camp already knew.

She made her way to Bellamy's tent with intent. Unlike Finn; Bellamy had spent too much time on the lowest rung of the Ark's hierarchy. Now that he was king of the camp – Bellamy was capitalizing on _every_ opportunity.

A brief impulsive explanation of her flurrying thoughts matched with his tired reply brought about a whole new degree of stubbornness that Raven never knew she possessed. She began undressing right there in front of him.

"What are you doing?"

"Moving on." She removed the fastener in her hair, letting the dark curls fell down her back. Finn adored her hair this way. He used to complain she kept it pinned up too much. Unfortunately the practical side of being a mechanic meant keeping her locks up and out of the way while she worked. Freeing her hair was an unspoken jab at the spacewalker.

"I've never been with anyone but Finn." Raven wasn't even sure why she felt she needed to confess that to someone like Bellamy. Perhaps it was because she never thought she would be with anyone but Finn. Or maybe it was because she needed to be with someone else. Either way, she showed Bellamy an unwanted hint of her vulnerability which she tried to cover up with a demanding, "Take off your clothes."

She almost expected him to turn around and leave or worse, laugh at her but Bellamy stood there unwavering. Obviously understanding how serious she was but he still didn't make a move. Now Raven was caught off guard and not entirely sure how to handle this situation.

"Fine. I'll go first."

Her shirt dropped to the floor.

His eyes cascaded to her exposed form.

"If you're looking for someone to talk you down because you're upset and not thinking clearly, I'm not that guy."

And that's what Raven was hoping for seeing how he'd taken the time to _notice_ her. However, Bellamy had looked into her eyes when he spoke even though she was topless. Minimal as it was, it showed respect – which was something Raven knew signified their new rapport.

Of course, _now_ he was staring at her chest again.

Bellamy was waiting for her to make the move. At first she supposed it was because he was used to having girls throw themselves at him. She was certainly not the first girl to stand here half-naked in his tent. But the fact of the matter was - he was exhibiting quite a bit of self-control right now – which she doubted he did with his other conquests. She really didn't see him standing around giving them the opportunity to walk away. Yet he was making an exception. He was giving _her_ an out.

The choice was hers.

But she wouldn't walk away. If Finn could be with someone else – than so could she. In a strange way she almost _wanted _this.

"Good."

Lacing her fingers through his greasy hair she pulled his mouth down against hers. The first thing she noticed was how much shorter and thinner Bellamy's hair was when compared to Finn's. That discovery was overshadowed by shock of strange lips and tongue mingling with hers. He smelled different. Tasted different.

But Raven didn't care.

A moment later his shirt was on the ground and the bare skin of their bellies pressed together. Physicality without emotion was something she never experienced before. Though she knew Bellamy was no stranger to it as he lifted her off the ground while pawing at her body.

Her back hit the coarse blankets on his cot as he ground his hips against hers. Teeth bit into her neck as rough hands – rough _janitor_ hands – cupped her bare breasts.

She swallowed hard, fighting the growing lump in her throat.

Where was the gentle touch of Finn's delicate fingers? The soft velvety feel of his kisses on her body? Playful murmurings of his silly pillow talk?

Those things were no longer hers. They belonged to Clarke Griffin now.

Bellamy yanked off her undershorts and spread her fingers slid up her thigh toward her center. He kissed her again, tongue entering her mouth at the same time his fingers entered her body. Her body rose off the bed to meet his. Her back arched as she spread her knees wider thrusting her pelvis against his hand.

She needed this.

Raven fed into her resentment toward Finn. She kissed Bellamy harder while working to remove his pants. He was halfway aroused so she spit in her hand and began jerking him off using her saliva as lubricant. She certainly wasn't about to put his dick in her mouth, there was no need for that, considering who knew where it had been earlier that day…

He thumbed against her clit briefly with fingers pumping in and out but Bellamy didn't know her body the way Finn did. He kept missing her spot. It was clearly frustrating him and her. Raven knew it wasn't his fault but she was used to Finn – he didn't need to prod and probe – he did things more _sensually. _ She reached her hand between her own legs, pushing Bellamy away while she took care of herself. Not that he couldn't figure it out eventually - he certainly had enough experience, but she was impatient.

Voyeuristic eyes watched as she masturbated in front of him. Maybe she should have been shy about it but right now she really didn't care. Once she soaked herself, Raven pushed Bellamy back on his cot. He went down easy enough, though he seemed surprised at her preference. She transferred her wetness from her hand to his cock, readying him for the next step. As she straddled his body preparing to ride him, a shimmer of remorse skulked through her heart at the change of scenery. The partner looking back at her was not Finn wearing the dreamy-eyed haze of love. Instead she found herself staring at Bellamy's eyes filled with amused anticipation.

Their bodies aligned, Raven crashed down against Bellamy. In unison they gasped at the coupling of their genitals. Eyes closed. Hands roamed. Hips thrust.

But they weren't in sync.

The unsteady rhythm worked against their orgasms.

Bellamy grasped the back of her knees when she rose, pulling her forward. As Raven lifted upward again Bellamy squirmed beneath her, trying to change the angle of her hips. Their bodies slapped together uncomfortably. Bellamy frowned and grabbed her ass shifting her weight. Their bare bodies rested against each other as he adjusted their position once more. Raven wasn't a virgin by any means but right now she almost felt like one.

This wasn't love. Or even lust.

This was plain _awkward._

Despite the challenge of getting their bodies to work together, Raven had no intentions of stopping. Neither did Bellamy. It was as though each of them had something to prove. She began grinding her hips against his but their duet was far from polished. Every time they moved it was though they were singing different songs. She saw him wince slightly as his cock slipped out a little too far and nearly missed its re-entry, causing them both moment of pain.

That's when he stopped her.

She knew she should have said something, offered a hasty apology or asked if he was alright - but she was too embarrassed to speak.

Holding her body flush against his and prohibiting her from any further movement, he took a deep breath. Raven straightened up so she was looking down on him, though she couldn't actually look at him. It was too humiliating. Nothing like this _ever _happened with Finn.

Half sitting up himself, propped on a bent elbow he ran his free hand ran through her hair. Then his hand rose to her face, fingers lifting her chin.

"Don't try so hard."

She was about to protest and argue but deep down she knew he was right. She was trying hard to move past Finn, so she nodded. A silent acceptance that somehow he seemed to _know_ more about her than she thought he did. Or maybe he just knew more about being hurt. She never even thought of that until now.

As he reclined, his hands slid up her body, pulling her in close to him. The heat of skin transferred between them. His hand found the back of her neck and with a gentle tickle; he swept her hair to the side. Then he kissed her, slower and softer than before. _Almost_ like Finn.

Raven resigned her attempted dominance, letting Bellamy take control. He held her staying stationary as he went deep inside her. It was a drastic change, a considerable improvement that made it much better than before.

It was almost _good._

There was still one vital thing missing from the equation.

Love.

What she and Bellamy shared was not love maybe (and it was a stretch) you could consider it to be friendship. But that was where it ended and Raven craved more.

At this point she couldn't reach orgasm. It wasn't Bellamy's fault though. Heaven knew he was doing everything he could, physically. But emotionally her heart wasn't in it and she doubted his was either. Maybe their bodies were connected but that was the only thing.

However, they'd gotten this far and Raven knew his body was certainly invested. It would be cruel to stop him now. So she urged him on and he responded, going all out. Abdominal muscles flexing in reverse crunches as he lifted her off the cot. He used so much force it left her breathless as her insides compressed with each impact. Despite the warmth growing between them in this moment, there was no un-articulate moaning or crying out of each other's name. No gentle cursing from pleasure or breathy proclaims of ecstasy for either of them. It was the first time Raven didn't need Finn's, er, anyone's fingers in her mouth to muffle her loud screams. In fact, the only sound either of them made was panting from all the strained effort.

Following his climax, Bellamy's entire body went limp with exhaustion. Raven paused for a moment, unsure what to do or say. On her back and panting beside him in the cot, clutching a blanket to her chest she was suddenly very aware of what she had done. What _they_ had done. It was all over and she wasn't being cuddled in post-coital bliss. Instead she was staring at the top of the tent and missing Finn in the worst way. The hollow feeling in her soul led to renegade tears welling in her eyes. Raven was determined not to cry over Finn. She was stronger than that. She raced for her clothes dressing as fast as she could.

"Feel any better?" Bellamy called from the cot.

"No." She could barely choke out a reply.

Maybe she should have taken Finn's suggestion and punched someone in the face.


End file.
